


Applied Mathematics

by MarvelousMaam



Series: Batbros' Flirting Guide [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Detective Comics (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Batboys, Established Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Fluffy, Funny, REALLY BAD PICK-UP LINES, Reader Insert, Tim being oblivious, batfam, fem reader - Freeform, it's Jason's fault anyway, rated for sexual implications, stupid gambling theories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 12:42:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15340098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelousMaam/pseuds/MarvelousMaam
Summary: "If I flip a coin, what would you reckon are my chances of getting head?"





	Applied Mathematics

**Author's Note:**

> I realized it's Wednesday and I have nothing waiting to be posted until Friday when the Thin Lines sequel uploads. Sooo... y not shorten the wait with another Batbro?

The voice of your boyfriend, currently staring onto the screen of his tablet, caught you by surprise. You’d been reading, flipping pages now and then and hadn’t really been invested into whatever was going on around you.

"Huh?" You asked unintelligently and pushed some stray strands of hair behind your ear to raise your gaze and settle it on the man sitting right next to you on the couch.

Tim's gaze caught yours and you blinked.

"Repeat that!" You mumbled quietly, unsure whether you’d heard right or just imagined things. His eyes remained unwavering on you, clear and awake. A can of Red Bull balancing on his knee and wobbling dangerously, he sat up even straighter.

"I said 'If I flip a coin what would you reckon are my chances of getting head?'." His fingers grasped the can and he raised it to his mouth, drinking just a gulp before setting it down again, this time on the coffee table where it would add another stain to the dozens (not that he cared). His tongue peaked out to catch a drop of liquid from his upper lip and you had to swallow hard not to lean over and pull him in for a kiss.

For a second his eyes left yours and you noted him take in the flush of your face at the indecency of his question. He wasn’t usually this… direct. So, why did he look so surprised all the sudden, you wondered.  
You decided to play along and smirked.

"Well, Tim I’d guess it’d be a 50/50 chance, no?"

He eyed you incredulously and for a second there you doubted your knowledge of physics such was the nature of his stare from behind his dark lashes. But then he smiled back and raised his index in a gesture you knew all too well. Show-off!

"See, that’s where you’re wrong Y/N!"

You knew exactly where this was going and couldn’t help but playfully suck on your finger before focusing on your book again and turning a page with the wetted tip. As if you honestly had any idea where you’d stopped reading. This was all pretend but you weren’t gonna pass the chance.

"Pray tell babe what’s the chances?" Your seductive whisper would have made Mr. Freeze melt to a puddle, you congratulated yourself at the neediness you’d woven into the question. This was certainly going to turn out a whole lot of fun afternoon.

"Actually," He was drawing closer as he spoke, leaning forwards on his perched up hands, the tablet forgotten, slipping into the gap between the couch’s backrest and seating.

You refrained from looking up until Tim’s face was mere inches away, only then you did, feeling his breath tickling your skin.

"Actually," he repeated captivated, "It’s something around 51/49 in favor of whatever side was facing upwards when the coin got tossed."

You blinked, once again confused. "Huh?"   
The book slipped from your grasp and hit the floor with a loud thud.

"It’s fascinating, isn’t it?" Tim’s smile was still in place as you groaned, annoyed.

"You’re kidding me, right?" You asked him while dramatically letting yourself fall back against the armrest.He looked slightly disappointed when you failed to realize how interesting his discovery was.  
"It’s an actual gambling theory, Y/N - applied mathematics, it’s…"

You snarled and watched him frown at the disruption. He looked honestly perplex at your sudden change of mood.

"Tim!" You grumbled and leaned forwards again, almost bumping noses with him. He looked on questioningly but somewhat guarded.

"I’ll give you a hint, babe!" You spoke slow on purpose and watched his eyebrows rise at the deliberate careful tone that you usually reserved for people who were not able to keep up with your train of thoughts.

"If I flip a coin… Tim, you follow?"  
Your hands settled on his knees carefully and you awaited his suspicious nod, "What do you reckon are my chances… you still with me, babe?"  
Another nod and you slid your hands upwards, watching the widening of his eyes that told you he was catching on, "To get tail?"

Softly you ran both of your hands up over his thighs and stopped right over the growing bulge in his pants.

"Oh!" He whispered and looked somewhat flushed and embarrassed.  
Unblinking you watched him try to form the right words.  
"That’s what he was on about!" Amusement coated Tim’s words and this was certainly not what you’d hoped for in an answer.

"Excuse me?" You bit out and didn’t even heed the pleading look of your boyfriend when your grip closed in on his most sensitive area.

"I’m sorry, Y/N!" He whined and grasped your hands, trying to loosen them up. "It was Jason’s fault, really!"  
You removed your hands immediately, not believing your ears.

"What has your brother got to do with that? Don’t tell me you speak to Jason about our sex life, Tim?"

His relieved look was only owed to the removal of your iron grip on his manhood, for the panicked way his eyes darted across the room you were sure he was already planning his escape.

Unceremoniously you got up from your seating only to lean over, towering high up above your boyfriend who sunk even deeper into the cushions. Your arms caged him in and his frightened stare reminded you of a rabbit facing a deadly snake.

You were well aware that in fact it would have taken Tim less than a second to throw you off and turn the tables but the embarrassment seemed to have overridden any sense of reality in him.

"I do no such thing, Y/N!" He pleaded and raised his hands in open surrender. "I just overheard him talking to his girlfriend, after the four of us took down those counterfeiters last night. You know, that gun running, money washing, money copying syndicate that I told you about? After we’d wrapped them up for the forces, the two of them were talking quite animatedly about it, really. " He gulped and you scanned his features for any signs of a lie.

Tim was actually a pretty good actor, so who knew really. You sighed defeatedly.

"Lemme guess, you actually thought about this, right?" He nodded. "And you googled it?" Another nod. "And not once during these investigations did you stumble over the fact that this is a pick-up line?" He shook his head no. "And it didn’t faze you that this was Jason and his girlfriend… heatedly discussing applied mathematics?"

He shrugged cutely. "They always end up in some sort of heated something. Shouting, making out, sparring, cooking… whatever really."

"I guess you’re right!" You hated to admit it, especially when admitting meant to accept the fact that eccentric and volatile Jason Todd of all people had obviously more of a sex life than Tim and you.

Backing up, you rested on your former sitting place again and sighed deeply, your gaze flying to the book lying on your floor.

"So…" Tim’s voice cut through again and you turned, watching him relax and run a hand through his black tresses, combing them backwards. You smiled and wondered how you could have ever assumed he’d actually use such a crude pickup line to seduce you.

His eyes narrowed slightly and you saw a small smirk tug on his lips to which your insides immediately responded with butterflies and your heart sped up.

"…can I still take you up on that offer, babe?"

 

_Later…_

Lying in each others’ arms, albeit cramped on the small seating of your couch, you were enjoying the postcoital bliss, drawing figures on your boyfriend’s built torso with your fingertips.

"Baby?" Your boyfriend’s tired voice made you look up at him.

"Yeah?" Smiling, you drew a heart on his chest.

"Are you on FBI’s most wanted? Because you’re at the top of my list!"

He grinned, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with this line.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt ever at writing a Tim Drake centric, romantic fanfic. Don’t get me wrong, I love Timmy but I’m just a Todd-girl at heart… Makes me kinda happy with the outcome though and I do hope you enjoy it, too. Next part of the Batbros’ Flirting Guide will be Jason’s turn anyway. We’ll see how he messes up next week.
> 
> Anyways, appreciation appreciated! Kudos, Comments! You name it, I take it!


End file.
